hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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