Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize