The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Everclear isn't food dammit
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
