you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
