his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
