I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
