Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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