the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
