I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
