Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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