If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
