I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
