I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
