Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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