is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
