his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
