In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
