You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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