Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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