That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
