I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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