You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
