I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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