he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
