stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
