Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
