what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think my moral compass just broke
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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