Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
