I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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