She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
