I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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