Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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