new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
