I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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