just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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