Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Randomize
