Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
