My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
