so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
