Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
