The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
