I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
