Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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