Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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