Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
