I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
