the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
