return my video game
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
