It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
