And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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