I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
