Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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